Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Don't Be A Baby

Sometimes I think being a baby would be great. There is no responsibility. People do stuff for you. You get carried around and cuddled all the time. Everyone says you're cute. You get to take naps every day. What could be better?

But then I remember that babies have it rough. Just think about it, they can never shake the "freshman feeling" because things are always new. They are in an almost constant state of frustration because they can't walk, and even worse, can't talk. Their parents find themselves in a guessing game as to what they need half the time because communication between them is so limited. This results in regular poking and prodding while the poor baby just lay there frustrated that their caretakers can't get it right. There are always strangers in their faces trying to make them smile or laugh. They are expected to perform ALL the time.

"Show grandma how you can stick out your tongue."

"Aunt Susan wants to see you roll over."

Their food options are very limited. And very mushy. They are required to be buckled into EVERYTHING--carseat, stroller, high chair, shopping cart. There are so many rules about what is ok to touch and what is off limits. "Dad can touch the remote, why can't I?"

And maybe worst of all, they have to wear a diaper. Disgusting. But it's not just the diaper. It's the changing part too. No one seems worried about making the baby bare all in front of others. Seriously, show some class.

But there are other parts of being a baby that are yucky too. Babies can't blow their noses. You know what that means? The little blue sucker. Horrible. You know what else that means? Ear infections. Double horrible. Babies can't really control their bodies. They drop stuff all the time. They miss what they're trying to grab. They stumble, they fall down, they bonk their heads. And the part we're dealing with at our house:


Oh man! Poor babies! I had braces as a teenager. I can remember coming home from the orthodontist after getting everything tightened, or worse, getting those awful coils, and feeling terrible. My jaw ached and my teeth hurt. I could only eat soft foods and look ahead to a straight set of pearly whites. It was not fun. And that's how my baby feels. Granted, he always eats soft food, but he doesn't get to take two ibuprofen and have some ice cream. He can't tell me where it hurts the most so I can put Orajel on that spot.

We took G to the doctor yesterday thinking he had an ear infection, but nope, just teething. Apparently the symptoms are the same--runny nose, not sleeping, lots of crying. How are parents to know what to do?

Being a baby is hard.

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