I can't believe we're about to be a family of four. How weird is that? I suddenly feel really grown up. And even though I'm way past the point of entering adulthood (I'm clinging to my status as a young person), somehow having two kids makes me feel like I need to be responsible. Ok, I would consider myself responsible, but not in the "oh those people are parents" kind of way. I guess when you work with kids, you see their parents as parents and yourself as just a mom to a little kid. I know, it makes no sense.
I had lunch today with one of the girls who was in my bible study as a high schooler. She's in college now and seems so grown up compared to how I remember her. Our conversations are no longer about prom and boyfriends and frustrations with friends. Today we talked about her semester abroad and what she wants to do as a career and how difficult it can be to make your own way in the world when it may look different than what your family expects. Real conversation. Adult conversation.
When she stopped by our house afterward it dawned on me that we are really adults. We own a home. We have a lawn guy who gives us advice on re-seeding the bare spots in our grass. I do LOTS of laundry. We just bought a dining room table that can seat up to 10 because we actually need to seat that many people sometimes. I host baby showers. We think about our retirement. We watch the news. We are about to have TWO carseats in the backseat of our car.
When did this happen?
When did we go from being a fun, young couple to being grown ups?
Is being a grown up really that bad?
The answer for me is two-fold. There are a lot of great things about being young and trendy and cool and carefree. But there are also a lot of great things about being a real adult. I'm more secure in who I am. I put down some roots, the horror!, but not in a way that limits change. I feel more grounded in my faith, which gives me a freedom that I didn't experience when I was young. My worldview is broader. As crazy as it may sound, I'm more likely to take certain risks. Granted, I can't just hop on a plane and fly across the world at the drop of a hat, but I'm not afraid to go where God leads even if it seems bizarre.
So as I continue to prepare for girly girl to arrive, I am struck with a sense of amazement that I'm going to be the mom of TWO. Our family is growing. Wait, I have a family. Wowza! This grown up thing takes some getting used to. But it's fun. It's scary and weighty and overwhelming sometimes, but it's fun. Life is an adventure and I'm thankful I get to live it!